I dream of the day my mom remembers all the times I’ve told her I hate being forced to have conversations while songs I like are on the radio.
i wish i knew what you were thinking
i just realized this probably sounds really deep about some boy or something but its about my dog
nine out of ten dentists recommend Colgate. the last one won’t stop recommending “the flesh of the innocent” and “thousands and thousands of skulls, staring, judging” and quite frankly we aren’t sure if he’s a real dentist or not
This has been a advertisement for Colgate.
And now, the Weather.
"omg i hate small talk!!" like damn u must be so fucking annoying. its called being nice. if i was at a party and i was like "how r your classes going" and you were like "ugh lets skip that i KNOW u dont really CARE about my classes and i dont care about YOURS" i would log out of there so fucking fast
remember that ncis scene where they were being “hacked” because tons of really irrelevant popups were coming up on their screen and so two of the main characters got up against one keyboard and furiously mashed keys
Nothing could make me more curious about your taxidermy than this.
I need this as a t-shirt as “zoologically improbable and/or terrifying to small children” sums me up.
Finally I know what I want inscribed on my tombstone when I die.
I remember the news article, this is the lion that was removed:
THAT IS FUCKING TERRIFYING
OH MY GOD THAT IS HORRIFIC
I’M LAUGHING SO HARD OH MY GOD
I can’t remember the last time I actually laughed this hard at something on tumblr. Oh my shit.
guys read the fine print its hilarious
novel about a morally grey pirate captain who is cursed to die within 5 years for stealing some forbidden treasure, and only giving her heart to someone and expecting nothing back can break the curse
but rather than go on some journey to find some true love or whatever, she decides to use her last years to travel the seas with her crew and collect treasure and drink and be merry
and on the day of reckoning, she is falling more and more ill, and her crew gather all around her to say goodbye to their captain when suddenly the curse is broken. because she gave her whole heart to her ship and her crew, and expected nothing back.